____` .something higher, something better
>> Tuesday, April 15, 2008
4/15/2008 07:23:00 PM
the end really does seem a bit closer now. and more tangible. but at the same time, it does feel like it'll still take a while.
ernie and i were saying, we just take 1 day at a time. if we think too far ahead, the future's even more elusive and hence, demoralising.
last week, i activated a prayer network for my final observation with my supervisor and math CT. it was super encouraging for ppl to reply 'OK', or 'hang in there' and 'you can do it!'. it was a reality bite when aunty choy replied "in everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you'.
and fact is, i really haven't been thanking God at all. all i've been doing is asking God why He is doing this to me, why I have to feel this way and why, why, why.. you get the point. in other words, all i have been doing is complain all the way without thanking God for bringing me through this period.
and so, yesterday, although all i wanted to do was complain and ask God why again, i just started to verbalise my thanks.
thank You Jesus for taking me this far.
thank You Jesus for giving me a nice EL CT and sup.
thank You Jesus that there are still kids who wanna learn despite the rest of the monsters..
the list went on for about 10-15 min and although i found myself running out of things to say, i kept going because really, God deserves it. and like ernie says, i've been focusing too much on the situation/circumstance that i'm in that i've forgotten how to praise God despite what i think/feel. and really, although i still feel dread everyday, i remind myself to thank God - because it is the will of God for me. i mean, maybe this is my low point for this period of time, but i know i will find my victory someday. maybe this low point ends when the 10 wks is up but until then, i will keep choosing to praise and thank my God.
